A friend emailed me this in response to the post before this...

i've heard of something similar to the rainbow theory, that is intriguing. the one i heard had to do with dimensions (figures with an engineering class, right?). let's say you are a one dimensional line, stretched across a two dimensional plane. now this plane is multicolored, like your rainbow. as a one dimensional line, you can only see one slice of the plane, you would say God is red, someone else says he is blue, when in fact, he is all. expand the analogy, we are three dimensional, even at our best we have trouple conceptualizing something of 4, 5, or 6 dimensions. if God is infinitely dimensional... better yet, if he is infinitely dimensional yet 0 demensional.. twist your mind around that :).

Today in Doctrines we talked about tension theology and the difference between the Calvinist and Arminians. The discussion was quite interesting. I did not really contribute much to the conversation because I had not finished reading the chapter. I just cant read when I am tired. Those two do not go together. However, Dr. W used an analogy I really liked. How many colors are in a rainbow? The rainbow represents God. Infront of this full rainbow is a huge mountain and you are the foot of it. You only see only color-red. However as you climb higher you see more and more of God. However, what you see does not represent a different God, but is the same God and you only know more about Him. You do not stop and go back down because you thing that the more you see the different God you see. If you keep going you find more and more about God. I really like this illustration because it shows that we only know a little about who God is but we can learn more about Him if we study His Word.

Another topic we talked about is preveient grace. This is grace that is needed to overcome basic ability of man to respond to God. This is usually universial inferred from the Scriptures. However, this is not laid out anywhere in Scripture. I will post more on this when I understand it more.

I have been extremely tired lately. I cannot seem to focus on homework. I have a lot of reading and papers. Both are hard when I am tired espeically reading. However, when I go to bed, I lay awake and I cannot fall asleep.

It has been a little over a month since Jesse has died. I still think about him everyday. Also, I am very emotional sometimes especially if some mentions funerals or a favorite song of his or a favorite sport. It comes and goes. I wish this did not have to happen. There are so much that I want to tell him, but I have to wait. I am thinking about writing a letter to him expressing what I wish I could have told him. Sometimes I see some reason why God took Jesse but other times I am completely angry at Him for taking this awesome young man away. He had so much potential and I wanted to see him succeed and reach his full potential. I also wonder why God is putting me through this at this moment in time. I miss jesse and will also miss him.